My sister married an amazing man on Saturday- we are so excited to have Phil in the family.
But before there was Phil (and my hubby/kids), there was "Stephanie and Deanna" aka "Pookie and Deage" (dont ask!). Being each other's only sibling, we were each other's first friends. We love(d) each other in a way only sisters can understand: some days we were the best of friends and other days we annoyed the crap out of each other. We laughed and played together, between our normal sibling spats and tattling on each other. Even though we have the same DNA and were raised the same way, we are very different people: i love to craft, and deanna loves video games. I love to go camping in our tent, and you'll find her at the local Courtyard hotel. She excelled in english, where i am a Math kinda gal. She loved playing in the high school ( and some college) Band, where i used that as a social hour in school and havent touched my clarinet since graduation! But, it's very simple: We Are Family. We Are Sisters. We will love each other... until the end... no matter what.
my sister and i, back in the day!
Being the matron of honor, i knew i had to give the first speech at the reception. Now, i have done my fair share of speeches and public speaking in the past: high school, college, and my R&D engineering career where i had to explain to top management why i needed funding (and my job!). I have also compiled a zillion papers, technical reports, and even a good-size thesis which lead to a few of my patents. But now i am a Stay-At-Home-Mom who's well versed in most Disney movies/shows as well as Max and Ruby- it's not like i get out much. Now the most used phrases out of my mouth are "pick up your clothes off the floor", "go wash your hands" and the very comment "why? because i asked you to!".... Yet they are going to give me a microphone to speak to a room full of adults that are going to listen- did they think through that????? i make conversations at the Target check out lines JUST to talk to people who can blow their own nose! In addition to my lack of practice, the last family wedding we went to, my cousin gave the BEST maid of honor speech i have ever heard. This is my third time being in the "MOH" spot- but this one was different. i knew many of the people in the room ( and who knows how many used to change my diapers when i was a baby!!!).... And most importantly, this was my sister. This had to be good. no pressure or anything....
Deanna used to LOVE playing dress up in my mom's old communion gown....
Being her only sister, i was 99.9999999% confident that i would be her MOH at her wedding... i knew this almost 30 years ago. She got engaged and planned her wedding for a year and a half out- meaning that i had 20 years to kinda think about this speech, 18-ish months to REALLY think about this speech.... Yet, i sat down about 14 hours before her ceremony to write it. Me, my laptop, and the TV playing the Big Bang Theory after we got home from the rehearsal ;) ;)
me and my "baby" sister at her wedding :)
Apparently, it went over much better than i thought. I had many people come up to me to say they liked my "heartfelt speech"... but that was family- they have to love me ;) My husband ( who's not one for handing out compliments on a regular basis), came up to me as they were serving dinner and told me "that was the best maid of honor speech i have ever heard". But the one that got to me the most? Deanna's flute teacher. Barb plays for the DSO, and also tutored Deanna and may other young flutists throughout their musical career. Barb has always been an inspiration to Deanna- and she agreed to play at the church for the wedding (FYI.. she really is THAT amazing!).
I posted a bunch of pictures of the wedding on Facebook this Sunday, and since Deanna was tagged on all of them, Barb saw the pictures as well. In one of the pictures, she posted this:
So Barb, this one is for you. I dont know EXACTLY what i said during my speech, but here are my notes made into semi-sentences:
Hello and welcome! For those of you who don’t know me, My
name is Stephanie and I’m the favorite
sister of the bride. I’m also the only sister, but we’ll skip over that. I want to thank you all for coming!
I’ve known Deanna her whole life. When they brought
me to the hospital to meet my new baby sister, I said something along the lines
of “oh, she’s cute” ....and then I wanted to leave and go feed the ducks.
And today, she’s not just cute, but she’s a beautiful
bride!
We’ve had many fun times together growing up- we played
dolls and barbies as kids. She often “borrowed” clothes out of my closet as we
became teens. As we grew older, we started
to realized just what being a “sister” means.
just know, that I am here for you-- always.
I’ve also known phil for what seems like forever. He
likes video games, anime, and Japanese culture just as much as Deanna does- I
didn’t think that was possible- for that alone, they’re a match made in heaven.
He is a wonderful guy and we are so lucky to have him in our family.
I am by no means an expert in marriage- there are many couples
here that have done this much longer than me, but... I DO have more experience
than you do... and I DO have the microphone, so I get to give advice, even if
you didn’t ask for it.... Soo... here I go...
- - Your priorities need to be God first, then
your relationship, then everything else.
- A marriage doesn't run on feelings — it works and
grows because you both work on it .. you need to actively Choose love.
- check in with
each other from time to time to make sure you both feel happy and are involved
in each other's lives. That way, you can grow together, and make sure you are
meeting each other’s needs.
- Always say I love you... and not out of habit
- Make time for you as a couple, but also as individuals-
and give each other the time they need for both scenarios.
- before you have kids... Travel, take an airplane, go
out to eat, go to the show, and enjoy nice adult things because you THINK you
know what it’s like to have kids... but trust me, you don’t.
- Most importantly, agree that no matter what, you
will not quit. Fight for this. This is worth fighting for.
- - Don’t
take each other for granted
Today is a wonderful day –probably the most important day
of your life so far. But, today is a promise and a beautiful party. Tomorrow
you get to carry it out. Love. Support. Cherish. Live. Remember, you have a
whole room of people here who love you and are here to encourage you throughout
the days and years to come.
If you can please raise your glass....
May your love grow stronger and deeper each day. May you challenge each other always. May you have a long, healthy, and happy life together. May you have all that you desire.
....To the bride and groom
Now that my sister is a WIFE, she'll learn so much more than she realizes. Being a wife ( and mother) has opened doors that i didnt know existed, made me happier than i knew i could be, given me strength i didnt know i had, and challenged me in ways i didnt know i needed to be tested in.May your love grow stronger and deeper each day. May you challenge each other always. May you have a long, healthy, and happy life together. May you have all that you desire.
....To the bride and groom
A marriage relationship is an investment that requires space, time, money, blood, sweat and tears and everything else you can think of. it's needs all of you- the great, the good, the bad, and the ugly. - it's not always easy but if you put the time and effort in, it's always worth it in the end.
Deanna and I at my wedding in 2005. we re-did this pose for her wedding, and i cannot wait to see how it turned out!
I wish Deanna and Phil nothing but the best as they start this journey!
And to my sister, the bride, may you always be this happy and beautiful, inside and out.
Maria-Lisa Photography
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